Yay, that was fun!
So I got the call at 9am this morning. I'm not fired!
So today I can relax and enjoy m'self.
Hooray!
end.
"When the speeding watermelon hits the wall, it's christmas for the crows"-Roger Moore in spice world.

I'm losing my FREAKING mind.
City Year fucked up my paperwork and I've been unemployed for the last week as a result. If they don't fix it by tommorow, they're threatening to fire me. FIRE ME. FOR A MISTAKE THEY FUCKING MADE.
I don't know what to do. At the moment I'm just really fucking bored and lonely. If they fire me, I'm going to scream until they change it. I donate a whole year of my life to these fucking people and for them to friggin'-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
But I digress.
Made some new friends last night at the open mic at the fig cafe. I'm going to be a regular there methinks. Something contented me about putting myself to bed at 1 am after a night of poetry music, burying my face in my hair that reeked like morroccan tobbacco. A lot of the people there were pretty much on par with me-indie types caught between high school and college, or caught between jobs, or college and life, or high school and life. A large portion of them work at trader joes.
Though all of the songs reminded me how much I miss being in love.
Next week I may do angsty poetry or comedy depending on my mood.
I met a girl named Liza who has the same birthday as me. She sings and plays guitar very smokily. She uses good verbs in her lyrics like "quiver". That doesn't sound like a big deal to most people, but it is to me. Too many a lyricist would choose "shake". She runs the open mic night. She gave me a ride home. We talked about being scorpios. I've been running into many of those lately.
Although I've come to detest my birth chart as I've come to detest the ragged marriage and love lines on my palms.
Some examples I hate.
-196 Opposition Moon - Pluto
She has problems in love. She is jealous, her self-esteem is often quickly held up to ridicule.

House IV in Gemini
Impossible to stay in one place, frequently changes home. If the job is monotonous, she will often change firm. The ideal profession would be one offering a lot of change, moving around, meeting lots of new people. An equally erratic love life is to be expected.

House V in Cancer
She will often be in love, up until the day she meets the chosen one. Then, no more flirting - the only goal: to start a family, as many kids as possible.

Ascendant in Pisces
She looks for love, but not any sort of love, it must be the pure and perfect kind. The search will probably take a long time.

Why, I ask, must I be so prone to travel and yet so prone to settle down? I know astrology can be a dumb thing to base one's life on, but I still occasionally gripe at the prospect of simultaneously wanting to travel everywhere and travel nowhere. I mean, hell. Why do I want to rip my own heart out over and over again?
The proper thing to do here I suppose would be to accept my fate.
Then again, all of this ranting is really just the result of me being cooped up in the house. If you talked to me last week, I'd say I was just fine as was my future, regardless of where I put my heart.
Last week when I breathed air everyday helping the city I love, I'd have said that I didn't care how many people I gave my heart to so long as I knew I was giving it.
And you know...I think that's what I say now. Writing is a form of meditation for me, I think.
It's too quiet here. I got very used to working in the city over these past few months. This house is purgatory alone. I rather literally sat and screamed for about five minutes because it was too quiet.
I did mention I was losing my mind, right?
Cabin fever. I miss my friends.
Rocky Horror this weekend. Thank god, if I don't have some social interaction away from this cookie-cutter house I'm going to start breaking things.
I hope I have a job next week.
I miss everyone dearly.
But if worst comes to worst, I can start over. I have my new open mic friends, my old martial arts buddies, my even older friends giving me support from their various colleges, and a certain boy who's been a friggin' saint for putting up with my cally mccallings for the past week. Benface, thank you. And sorry. Have fun in Baltimore fool.
I am way too emotional right now. Tommorow if I do not go back to my city I'm going to have a panic attack.
So I'll go play D&D with Rafe. Or something. Somewhere.
Life will get better.
I could use to read some words from Lexi Bell. *goes to lexiblog in search of poemtry*
ooh, poemtry.
And that is a moodswing in blog form.
*bows*
"Poemtry"-moi

*smoothes hair*
*steps up to the podium*
*taps mic*
taptaptaptap test...test one..test two...okay can you hear me now?
Good.
So! Benface.
Neither of us want anything serious at this point. So! No, I do not have a new "boyfriend".
Yes, question over there.
*reporter stands up*
"Yes, I'm from chastity weekly. Are you still making out with him?"
That's a very good question madam, and I commend you coming out here in that belt during this weather. Frostbite in that area is...well, mabye not so bad for you. But yes, we are in fact dating. It's the least slutty form of non-commitment, and the safest.
The woman in front in the mumu, question?
*another reporter stands up*
"What do your parents think about this?"
You know, dad seems to support it. I haven't heard mom's end yet, but when I answered to Dad he seemed to think that it was about time I lightened up about the whole dating process.
"What exactly did he say?"
He said "That's cool." I think that Jazz-musicianese for "Proceed with caution".
So basically, I'm acting like in college even though I'm not actually in college.
Bueno.
Oh, and I'm not a slut. Thank you.
*applause*

So that my friends is how one realizes she shouldn't blog about her personal life. I don't really like following up on things. There are much more interesting topics in the world than boys I run into occasionally.
We saw fearless last night. It ruled. I spazzed at the section staff. I must learn how to use a section staff.

"Wouldn't it suck if you were allergic to squares?"-The kids I babysit and I get into the weirdest of conversations.

I'm in a writsey sort of mood at the moment. I love city year. It's odd that I enjoy wearing the same thing every day..definetely not a feeling I'm used to. But I love this orginization with my whole heart. I love it when philly cops wave and cheer when we walk into their neighborhoods. I love every foot cramp, every inch of fence I paint even though at the time I would probably tell you otherwise.
Today I went to every art school in center city and got materials to bring back to my high school. I also went back to the fabric workshop and talked to Lucy, which was a total trip down memory lane. They're going to come into CY and do a round table and teach everyone how to silk screen. It's awesome.
It's raining. I miss Mollies and Emilies. There's a Molly here who is into astrology and has brown hair. I hang out with her a lot. We played on the swings yesterday. But it's just not the same, you know? Not that I was trying to make it the same. But I don't have any girl friends left here. Though I'm probably going to run into the Becca if I start to date the Ben. But yeah, I miss you JAW!!!
It doesn't help that I positively suck donkey on the phone. I couldn't hold a phone conversation if it had handles. Sticky handles.
Looking forward to tonight.

"Snoop dog needs a sandwich."-me. You had to be there, I think.

I'm in a writsey sort of mood at the moment. I love city year. It's odd that I enjoy wearing the same thing every day..definetely not a feeling I'm used to. But I love this orginization with my whole heart. I love it when philly cops wave and cheer when we walk into their neighborhoods. I love every foot cramp, every inch of fence I paint even though at the time I would probably tell you otherwise.
Today I went to every art school in center city and got materials to bring back to my high school. I also went back to the fabric workshop and talked to Lucy, which was a total trip down memory lane. They're going to come into CY and do a round table and teach everyone how to silk screen. It's awesome.
It's raining. I miss Mollies and Emilies. There's a Molly here who is into astrology and has brown hair. I hang out with her a lot. We played on the swings yesterday. But it's just not the same, you know? Not that I was trying to make it the same. But I don't have any girl friends left here. Though I'm probably going to run into the Becca if I start to date the Ben. But yeah, I miss you JAW!!!
It doesn't help that I positively suck donkey on the phone. I couldn't hold a phone conversation if it had handles. Sticky handles.
Looking forward to tonight.

"Snoop dog needs a sandwich."-me. You had to be there, I think.

Eeee! Date with Ben tommorow! :-D
I have a full weekend ahead of me, actually.
Friday-Benface.
Saturday-Going to art gallery in Reading with Benface, also babysitting.
Sunday-Training with rafe/ cleaning.

Sounds delish. I need to start reading more fiction. The book of five rings is undoubtedly the best thing I've ever carried with me on a regular basis, but my spoken grammar is starting to take a Philadelphia nosedive due to the neighborhoods I've been hanging around. Or the hoods I be chillin' in. I've actually slipped and said some stuff like that. The scary part is that NOBODY NOTICES.
I have yet to casually say "Jawn". But I've caught myself on a few "You is's" .
How am I going to correct kids on their grammar if their grammar rubs off on me first?

Hannah: Of course they need to find their stapler. Staplers don't grow on trees.
Irvin: I wish money grew on trees.
Hannah: Yeah, you could buy a shitload of staplers with that.

"Ben, this girl is adorable. Everyone with a dick in this room can see that."
The question is, should I view the room as being half full of the unnattainable gay or half empty? I love those guys, so I think the whole room was awesome.
Prochain soir, j'alle au boum de Alex Dragon. Bon Anniversaire, Alex! Je recontre un fil sympa et mignon. Il s'appelle Ben. Il habite dans Cheltenham. Il conaisse Temma et Becca.
Anyone who has problems dating should just start going to Nerd parties. There are plenty of very sweet and intelligent dudes to go around.
Alex speaks mostly in japanese when drunk.
I'm pretty happy today. Even if the dude doesn't call, it feels good to be back in the game.
Community service is good work. Next week I start at Olney.
Eeep.
"I'm afraid of invisible bats. Just think about it. *makes flapping noises over somebody's head* AND YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WHY!"-new friend from crazy party.

omgeezehtehturningpoint.
After going back and fourth with myself for awhile, I called Tim and we hung out.
and we're still cool.
and it's not awkward.
and I got one of my best friends back.
:-D!
I realize that when I lost tim I wasn't so much torn to shreds because I lost a boyfriend, I was just angry because I lost a really good friend.
Now I have my friend back, so it's all good.
Social stuff is just fucking weird and that's that. I'm pretty sure a boyfriend is just a really good friend who is also comfortable with making out with you. When he is no longer comfortable with that, he is no longer a boyfriend. When he is no longer comfortable talking to you, he is also no longer a boyfriend. Logically, one, the other, or both has to go.
DATING IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS SIMPLE.
However, I am not one to complain when things just suddenly go back to normal.
next weekend-possible manhunt.
Why?
Well why does a dog lick his testicles?
Because he can.
heheheheh.
Oh, important detail-I hereby solemnly swear not to be a slut because that's gross and I saw the slideshow.
I also hereby solemnly swear to not jump on the first nerd to bat an eyelash, which will be more difficult, but feasible.
*takes a deep breath*
*jumps*
sup motherfuckaaaz.

"I wasn't talking to me!"-Harley