Hannah sutin tilts her head back, howls at the moon, tells the world she doesn't care. I can live my life alone, so I will use my bravery to do so. I can be happy on my own. I have my own love for myself..in the end thats all that matters really.

So that would be a small piece of unrestricted brain flow. Now for the good-natured censorship of conventional blogging!
The cast party at Melissas was too short, but very good. I smoked the back end of a cigarette for the first time. It was interesting, but I felt like I wanted another one this morning, so I will never smoke again. At least a ciggarette I will never smoke again. That hooka was tasty..
Grr. Peer pressure with ciggarettes is non existent. People just do it to fit in to the circle of people smoking. Nobody forces them. You just feel left out. I did not partake in the cigar stuff because (no offense) they smelled like burning poo. Sorry guys. Krista was right in saying that other people at the party should not treat the smokers (who aren't even smokers, it was a one-time thing) like trash. It doesn't make them different people. I like Krista. We had a rare talk last night, considering we've never been close. We go back, but we've never actually had a serious conversation ya know. She's a good soul. really.
Back pete! We don't have any ciggarettes!
Yes about 3 people will understand THAT...
My happiness freaks a lot of people out. But why the hell shouldn't I be happy? The Dalai Llama was happy when he was imprisoned and forced to trek across the himalayas with sparse food. So why can't I be happy when all my worst problems are small social tiffs that I have little control over anyway? Screw the world, I'm allowed to smile ^_^.
So anyway..cast party! I ran around singing like a lunatic, told people I was hooked on phonics, listened to Melissa and Krista's crazy rapping, and had a long conversation with her cat. Yes, I actually talk to cats. Personally I think they think we are complete fools because every word that usually comes out of our mouths when near them is "awww wushy gushy kitty awww" or in molly's case "Neko! Neko! Waiii!". Which is why they often look at us like "you idiots, just give me some damn food". Or "shut up and pet me". Wafflez doesn't usually look pissed off because ryan talks to him. So I talk to cats because I want their respect. If I want a principal's repsect I don't go "AWWW LOOK AT DR BURTY WURTY!"
yeah...
I wasn't planning to go on that rant. Such is ADD.
There are many reasons why I float so much.

1)People often forget I am a girl, because I do not act like one. However I look like one, so I can successfully float between genders.
2)I do not understand the point of jealousy, so I ignore it whenever it arises. This eliminates most social squabbles.
3) I am near impossible to be made angry. If someone calls me a cock-sucking bitch, I ask them why. If they have a good reason, I apologize. If they don't have a reason, then I either try to think of one, or just leave the situation put and put my mental "ignorant" sticker on the person in question.
4) I do not change my behavior from group to group in order to fit in. I just act like myself the entire time. This may seem like a dumb point, but the reason white people don't hang around with black people is because when they do try to hang out, they try acting like them in order to fit in. Which doesn't work. Because they are white. If you are yourself, they'll respect that. And if you don't understand ebonics, korean, skateboarding terms, hebrew, yiddish, names of punk bands, people in the government, or brands of clothing, they will explain it to you. Its pretending you know something you don't that will get you excommunicated from a group of people.
5) Most importantly I don't think i'm a saint. Actually there are times in my life I've been a horrible bitch. Hell, I'm doing some crap I shouldn't be doing right now that I'm not dealing with because I'm a coward. I retain truths, I talk about people, I get jealous...just like everyone else. And It's wrong. So when people get pissed at me about something, and I'm wrong, I don't break away from them. Thats the easy way out. I freaking apologize, grovel, do whatever it takes to keep that friendship intact.

I'm a social martyr really. In the end all this behavior yields is a lack of problems concerning me in the world. I have no boyfriend, I have no control over other people's actions, I have no system of people to protect me and to smash out all my opposition..
But I do have friends and I'm so fucking grateful for each and every one of them-
(aside-This blog is too freaking long. I will post about Urinetown later. Urinetown is a musical I saw w/ my mommy)
each and every single one. If it ever feels like i've forgotten you, treated you unfairly, am doing something I shouldn't be, acting like a bitch-ANYTHING negative concerning me, tell me. Just tell me. Its so easy. Not as easy as talking behind my back, but very easy. Because most likely if what I'm doing is wrong and you tell me to cut it out, I will. I don't want to upset anybody. I never want to fight. Everrr. I love you all so much and even the people I don't see all that often I would be crushed to know that I've lost them as a friend.

So! That load is semi-off my mind! I relieve thoughts by writing. Honestly what I need is a pensive. Memories clog valuable brainspace.

Church tommorow, bed today, love forever!

"What an unexpected surprise!"
"IS THERE ANY OTHER KIND??"-Urinetown. So cool. So freEAKINg cool.

Hey I'm in shipleys class. I finished taking a test. I got a 70. Lovely. I get extra credit from jeopardy + the essay, so hopefully I'll squeeze into a B. GRrrrrrrrr....I detest online testing.
Everybody folk! If you haven't read the Everybody blog yet, check again. I wrote something very important and innovative.
I need to invent a word that means horny. I want my own word for it. Faracious. Is that a word? Cuz i want it to mean horny. Froxy. OO! Thats it. Froxy.
I'm froxy!
WHoo!
"Got my nose!"-me on leprosy

heyoo sup from the abington free bibliotheque. I feel very neutral right now. I hung with JB, tara, steve, and a couple of other people I don't know in mr shelton's room for a few minutes after school. They think I'm weird. Now what would bring them to that conclusion?..O yeah i'm weird. W/e. I went commando today on the suggestion of Mickey, dads friend from the islands who was raised to do the latter. That brought me to thinking what point underwear served really. Then I realized it dated back to female chastity belts and long underwear for "modesty" and such, to seperate us from the 'savages' of the islands. I figure if I wash my pants as much as I wash my undies (and I do) there really shouldn't be a problem. Its a comfort thing/ culture thing. So I'm saving myself the laundry for a couple of weeks and seeing how I like it. Don't get any ideas. I'm not really doing this to non conform, which is the popular belief of some groups that somehow got the information..somehow..(i blurted it out in french..eh..)..This is an experiment. I believe it should really make no difference. I rather like the breeze. Tis liberating.
Enough about my 'experiment'. I have a distinct feeling this makes some people uncomftorble.
I feel very close to sage these days. He's a good guy. I loff him.
Dan Kress hugged me quite a bit today. I sensed a bit of post-breakup hormone rush. I'm not even sure if he's broken up with his girlfriend or not, but maybe his mind has. I get a lot of specific emotional vibes from people when I hug them. Or when they hug me. Its all about the reaction or the action itself. Its a good portrait of a person.
Ferro assigned us to have 10 hands drawn by the end of the week. He said no turkeys, meaning no tracing the outline of your hand like in kindergarten. Honestly I am appalled by this sudden placement of "rules". I am drawing ten hands in other various birdlike positions with beaks and other appendages drawn in dotted lines. Hopefully I will not recieve any ferro wrath similar to the wrath I experienced when I drew a thought bubble over Micah's head saying "Hannah Sutin is hot". Where is the artistic liscense? Whatever. Life goes on.
This library smells like carrots.
I want to be in the musical. Sadly, I am a working woman. Life goes on.
The Junior High musical auditions finished. If the combination of marley and I's information (yay crappy grammar!) is correct, then so far the cast list is as follows.

Ben Jaye: Birdie
Shoshana: Kim
Charly: Rosie
Adam Jack: Albert
Saul: Mr Macafee (non-villian. Hnn.)
Judith: Mrs. Macafee
Drew DeVitis: Bartender

All else is unknown to me. I remember when Ben Jaye was a lighting dude. Now he's hooked to elvis-esque roles. Great.
Wow I had a crush on Saul last year! What happened? I haven't thought about him in months! Eh, my brain is silly.
Its approaching go time, so i'll sign off and read what blogs I can. Paz.


"Anyone whose knees aren't green by the end of the day should re-examine their lives."-Calvin closely accompanied by Hobbes.

So...i'm not really sick but my ear has hurt for a week and a half and I am very tired after yesterday's exploits. So I stay home. Whee. I plan to watch Alladin, which i haven't done in quite some time.
Walter came home this weekend. Remind me to tell you about Batman. Thats all I have to say about him. Thats one of those stories which is funnier in person.
Dad and I went on a long overdue road trip to one of his gigs yesterday. Chambersburg Pennsylvania. About four miles away from Scotland, Pennsylvania. Dad and I considered starting a new life in scotland in the McDonalds dumpster, but we thought we best go home because the food was better. We had many pointless conversations, many more completely meaningful conversations, and developed a multitude of inside jokes.

Hannah: lets go look at the newstand
Dad: All they have is tchachkas and candy.
Hannah: I like tchachkas. And candy.
Dad: Ok.
(we go into the newstand)
Hannah: I don't want anything.
Dad: Whatever.
(we leave)

Road trips with my dad are everything I wish all of my family vacations were. No stress, barely any money spent, no packing, and we get to hang with dads friends who to quote my dad "some people think they have cool friends, but they don't know shit". And you'd be rash to disagree once you've met them. Barry who finishes whole cds hours before they have to get sent to the pressing plant, Mickey who comments on how much my breasts have grown rather than the usual height remark, Wilby who has womens' phone numbers written on his drumset, doc who works on Emiril's Cooking show as a drummer and got his nickname by his african medicine practices, Meg who learned how to speak fluent english by watching movies alone, got into julliard and simultaneously will comment on you having 'a good eyebrow day', Barry Blumenthal who has a snake named fluffy and a rabbit named attilla the bun, Juju who carves his own drums...honestly the list goes forever.
Dad is getting pretty freaking good at his vibraphoning stuff...better than usual. I can't wait for the christmas CD to come out. Given that barry finished it yesterday and sent it out ths morning *snicker*. Actually its just awesome that I can address them by their first names or nicknames.
The car ride conversation went everywhere from condoms, to existence, to buhdisim, to batman (AHAHAHHAHA ask me later) to politics, and probably the longest, which has it the worst girls or guys. Oddly I thought guys had it worst, dad thought girls had it worst. Does that mean w'ere empathetic, or just really blase about our own difficulties? Meh. I don't know. I stand firm on my side. No innuendo intended :).
Ryan says I'm a leopard. Surprisingly accurate.
I had the worst nightmare in the world last night. I can't remember the whole thing but there was a lot of scary shit involving fanged clowns, palmistry marks appearing on my hands in ink , cursing ,being enslaved by nazis who could only be destroyed if part of their intestinal tract had somebody elses urine in it (WTF?),making food out of excrement as a result, disneyland being the last remaining piece of america, fire holocausts, bombings, being raped, crashing in a car, being naked or in a towel, growing three extra toes, dwarves making fanged plastic toys that attacked you...in short is was like being in a hieronymus bosch painting that couldn't be escaped. I woke up and thanked god(dess) I made it out of that one alive. Jesus. I hope that never happens again. Damn. I was so scared. My featherbed was hunched all the way at the other end of the matress in a ball when I woke up. lovely. Die subconcious.
If someone locates a way of contacting Eric Idle, give me a shout. I'd enjoy writing to him. I am his ho after all.
Mom did an amazing job in oliver.
That is all


"Robin, get the shark repellent bat spray!"-...adam west. Ask me later.